Hey everybody!
I hope you're all well and happy. This is going to be a quick post today. I just have some new news and a bit of a request.
New news: Blood in Stone is now out on
audio. Fleet Cooper did a wonderful job narrating the story and giving my little characters life. Thanks Fleet!
And here's the request....
As you know, I'm working on two new manuscripts. One is about Kravel from Riddle in Stone. The second (Quests of Kings) is something completely new.
I'm finished with the first full draft of Quests of Kings, but... I'm worried about it. I'm not sure if the story or the characters are compelling enough.
So, if you have time...and the interest... could you read through the first chapter (below) and let me know what you think??? Again, it's the first draft and there are tons of typos and I need to wordsmith it a great deal. Still, I'm wondering if the main character (Natalie) is worth pursuing. I'm afraid she is boring or too stereotypical.
What do you think? Should I keep working on her or focus more on Kravel?
Thoughts? Suggestions? Dirty limericks?
Quests of the Kings
by
Robert Evert
Chapter One
"Oh, hurry up you two!"
Natalie elbowed her way through the growing crowd, but her friends, Hadley and
Ida, fell further behind, unable to keep up with the surging tide of people
filing into Upper Angle's village green.
"Wait!" Hadley shouted
from somewhere in the mass of moving bodies. "Nat! Wait up!"
Natalie passed through the iron gates
and stepped aside, letting the crowds stream past her to the stage from which
the heralds would read King Michael's latest proclamation.
"Nat!" Hadley shouted
again. Natalie reached into the crowd and seized Hadley's arm. "Ow!"
"Get Ida."
Hadley grabbed Ida's hand. Nat
pulled them both out of the flowing line of people.
"Thanks." Ida doubled
over, sucking in air. "I thought we'd get trampled for sure!"
Natalie stood on her tip toes,
trying to peer over the crowd of mostly men and young boys. "Blast it! We're
never going to see anything from back here. Damn it for being short!"
"Being short has its
advantages, you know," Ida said, being barely over five foot herself.
"Being short is a plague."
Natalie scanned a nearby tree, considering its possibilities. "It's worse
than being a woman."
"What? You'd rather be a tall
man?" Hadley scoffed, following Natalie along the wall enclosing the city's
park.
"Then you'd surely stink more
than you already do!" Ida added.
Natalie turned and glowered.
Ida recoiled. "What? I'm just
saying that you reek of horses and manure. That wouldn't happen if you took a more
sensible job."
Natalie waved them to follow her.
"Mucking stalls puts money in my pocket."
"But it's boys' work!" Ida
insisted.
"That's exactly what I've been
saying, Nat. Why don't you get a more feminine job? I hear Boris is hiring
young women at the Dead Dog."
"Boris told me I wasn't pretty
enough to be a serving girl." Natalie studied the wall and then the stage
around which thousands of Upper Angle's townsfolk were gathering. "Let's
go a little more this way."
"He didn't say that!" Ida
said in disbelief.
"He most certainly did. He told
me to come back after this"—Natalie slapped her round thighs—"moved
up here." She hefted her petite chest.
"The bastard!"
"Ass!"
"He then said that he had boys
working in the kitchen who looked more like a girl than I did."
"Well," Hadley said as if
not wanting to bring up the subject standing right before them, "you could work on a few things. You're hair
for example."
Natalie brushed the strands of mouse
brown hair back behind her ear. "Oh, Had, don't get started about that."
"I'm just saying it'd look far
prettier if you didn't pull it back into a ponytail. You need to let it grow
and fall forward."
"Yes! Let it grow longer so it
curls over your shoulders like water cascading over falls," Ida added, helpfully.
"That's how all the noble women wear it nowadays."
"To hell with the nobles. And my
hair doesn't curl; it"—Natalie shot her fingers out in all directions—"Besides,
long hair is hot and it gets in my way. Remember what happened with the
loom?"
The other girls giggled. Natalie
slid them an annoyed glance.
"You have to admit,"
Hadley said, "that was funny!
How long were you stranded there?"
"I don't want to talk about
it." Natalie waved a dirty hand again. "Come on, keep up! I want to
find someplace where we can see the stage before they start."
Hadley and Ida hurried after Natalie
as fast as their billowing dresses would allow.
"And then there's your choice
of clothing," Hadley went on.
Natalie turned, exasperated.
"I've told you, boy's clothes are more functional. Do you think I could
muck out the stables in a dress?"
"Then get a different
job!"
"Look. Henry pays me more than
I could get anywhere else and besides, he lets me tend to the horses. He's even
let me ride them from time to time. I'm actually getting good!"
"But you'll never meet a man
dressed like . . ." Hadley gestured to Natalie's entire body. "And
smelling like—"
Natalie clinched a fist. "I
don't want to meet a man!"
Hadley laughed. "Of course you
do! How else will you get married?"
"I'm not getting married."
"Oh, that's right." Hadley
rolled her eyes. "I forgot. You want to die alone."
"I'd rather die alone than to
live with a chain around my neck. Now, come on."
Ida raced to catch up. "What
about Artis? He's nice enough. And he worships everything you touch."
"Oh, gads! Let's not talk about
Art. I've been trying to knock that lovesick look off of his face since we were
kids." Natalie made an exaggerated expression that resembled constipation more
than love. "Hurry up. They're about to start."
Hadley and Ida struggled to keep up
as Natalie jogged along the interior of the park's wall. Natalie stopped and
peered toward the stage, shielding her eyes from the late morning sun rising
over the forested hills, the autumn canopy a hundred shades of red and yellow.
"Honestly, I don't know what's
wrong with you." Hadley panted. "Don't you want nice clothes and a
decent roof over your head? If you found the right man who is willing to
overlook your, well, your . . . uniqueness, you wouldn't have to work so many
different jobs."
"Men also keep you warm at
night." The others turned to Ida in surprise. "Or so I've heard!"
Natalie grunted. "The only
things men are good for are getting you pregnant with lots of babies and then
dying on you when you need them the most."
Ida and Hadley's strides faltered as
they exchanged pained glances.
"I'm sorry, Nat," Hadley
said, trying to catch up. "How's your mother doing?"
"She's fine." But the anger
in Natalie's voice and stomping step indicated otherwise.
"And how about your brothers
and sisters? How's Robbie?"
Natalie turned again. "Look. I
know where this is going. We're fine, alright? I'm fine. My mom's fine. Robbie
and the others are fine. We're all perfect. In fact, we're better than ever. I'm
making more than enough to get us everything we need. So just drop it. Okay?
We're fine!"
Ida shrank back. "We're just
trying to help."
"Well, don't!"
"You know, Nat," Hadley
said, her voice calm, "there's a reason why we're you're only friends."
Natalie exhaled, her shoulders sagging.
She rubbed her tired face. "I'm sorry. I . . . I don't mean to be like
this all the time. It's just really hard right now, you know? Some days I feel
like I'm about to explode." Then she muttered as if to herself.
"Sometimes I feel like a trapped animal."
Ida put her hand on Natalie's
shoulder. "Is there anything that we can do?"
Natalie shook her head, hair
slipping out of her ponytail again. "No. We'll be fine. I'm taking care of
everything." Then she added begrudgingly. "But thanks for
caring."
The three girls hugged.
"Whew!" Hadley pulled away
and waved her hand under her noise. "You do stink!"
Natalie laughed despite herself. "Sorry."
On the stage, several minstrels began playing a bouncy tune. What might have
been a dwarf in a brightly colored hat was dancing a ridiculous jig, his feet
and hands flying everywhere. She could barely make him out through the swelling
crowd. "Alright. This is good
enough. Let's climb up."
"Climb up where?"
Natalie nodded to top of the stone
wall.
"Up there? Are you out of your
mind?"
Natalie leapt, seized the top of the
wall, and scurried up it like a disheveled squirrel. She grinned down at them.
"There you go. Easy as getting out of bed! Here, let me help you."
She lowered a hand to the other girls. They blinked at it as if it she were
holding feces.
Hadley shook her head. "If I
fell from there, I'd break my neck!"
"So don't fall."
"I"—Hadley cringed—"I
couldn't. Besides, we shouldn't be up there."
"Why? Other people are doing
it."
Around the village green, a score of
younger children were also perched on top of the wall to get a better view.
Hadley tossed her hands as if her
point had been made. "They're all boys!"
"What does that matter? It
isn't like they climb with their pricks."
Hadley and Ida both gasped and then
giggled.
Ida's face deepened to a light shade
of scarlet. "The things you say!"
"It's what people do that
matters, not what they say. Now give me your hand, I'll help you up."
Hadley glanced at the dirt-encrusted
fingers again.
"Oh, come on. It washes right
off. I promise Your Royal Highness won't smell like the poor peasant
girl." Natalie's expression turned mocking. "Or don't you think you
can climb this high?"
Hadley's frown broke into a wry
grin. "So help me, if any boys come over to look up my dress!"
"Just keep your legs together
for a change and you'll be fine."
Hadley and Ida gasped again and then
roared with laughter.
"I'll have you know, I'm not
that kind of girl!" Hadley replied, still laughing.
"That's not what Richard is
saying," Ida said.
Hadley huffed in feigned indignation.
"You do it a couple dozen times with a boy and they think you're a whore!"
"Whore or not"—Natalie
wiggled her fingers—"give me your damn hand. I'm getting dizzy leaning over
like this."
"Fine! But my death is on your
head." Hanley took Natalie's hand and, with a jump and a pull, found
herself sitting on top the wall circling the park. "Ew! I'm sitting on
bird poo!"
"Oh, you've sat in much
worse."
"But it's sticky!"
Natalie helped Ida up.
"Well!" Ida looked around.
"This is much better. We can actually see the falls from here!"
They watched the Green River tumbling
down from the rocky bluffs and plunged hundreds of feet into a cloud of
shimmering mist before forking around the hills upon which the city of Upper
Angle was built.
Natalie nudged Hadley. "What
did I tell you? Now even us short folk can see."
"Speak for yourselves."
Hadley tried to wipe the bird dropping from the top of the wall without getting
more on her hands . "I'm completely average—in height that is!"
They laughed.
"It is pretty up here,"
Hadley admitted. "Maybe we could go walking in the woods today. I love
smelling the trees. There's nothing like the earthy smell of autumn."
Natalie surveyed the surrounding
hills with regret. It would be a nice
day for a walk, especially along one of the rivers. The smell of the trees, the
soft wind rattling their colorful leaves, the peace of being out of the city.
"You two can go. I have to get to work in a little bit."
"When was the last time you've
had a day off? I mean a real day off where you didn't work at any of your jobs?
When was the last time you did something for yourself and had fun?"
Natalie knew the answer. She'd been
working every damned day since she was twelve, ever since her father died from
an infection.
"Let's not talk about
work," Ida said, coming to Natalie's rescue. "It's too beautiful a
day!" She closed her eyes and tilted her head back, letting the bright sun
warm her face. "Pretty soon winter will be here and everything would be
cold and dreary. Oh, how I wish I could live further south."
"By Elsmyer," Hadley
agreed. "Could you imagine being able to walk along the beach and swim in
the warm ocean all year round?"
"And the Elsmarian men are all
muscled and have deliciously brown skin!"
"Deliciously brown skin?"
Natalie chortled.
"What? They do! It's very
appealing."
"I'll remind you two the reason
why the Elsmarian men are so muscular is because they spend their days working
on boats, rowing. Notice I said working! Not strolling about, buying everything
that strikes your fancy."
"Oh, I don't mind if my husband
works!" Hadley corrected her. "As a matter of fact, I'm going to
require it. That way he'll get out of the house long enough for me to spend
some time with the houseboys!" She bounced here eyebrows suggestively.
"You're going to have
houseboys, are you? What's your Prince Charming going to do to pay for all of
this, pray tell?"
Hadley gave an exaggerated shrug as
though the question was asinine. "He'll be a prince, of course!"
"Of course!"
Ida smoothed out her dress. "I
think marrying some sort of shopkeeper would be best. They can make a lot, but
they don't come home all exhausted and stinky."
Natalie clinched her fists and shook
them to the fluffy white clouds drifting leisurely by. "Can we please stop
talking about boys and marriage? There are no Prince Charmings! There are no
knights in shining armor who will rescue you from the tops of towers. The only
person you can count on is yourself."
"And good friends!" Ida
added.
Natalie put her arms around Ida and
Hadley and pulled them closer. "And good friends. That I believe in!"
They each sat on top of the wall,
studying the restless crowd and listening to the music. The wonderful scent of
fresh cinnamon bread wafted from a nearby bakery. What an exceptional day.
"It's amazing how many people
come to these things," Hadley said eventually. "I had no idea the
Quests were so popular."
"What? This?" Natalie made
a dismissive grunt. "You should see when they're burning a witch or strangling
a thief. The place is so filled, you can't move."
"You watch that?" Ida
asked, horrified.
"Not the burnings. Anybody who
believes in witches nowadays is an idiot. The witch hunts makes me sick to my
stomach."
Ida appeared even more mortified. "But
the hangings?"
"I don't sit up close. At
least, not since the incident with the eyeball."
"Eyeball?"
"Well . . . " Natalie
dithered as if determining whether to tell them something. "There was this
one time when I was right up front, practically pushed against the gallows.
Talk about being crushed! Anyway, when the trapped door opened and the rope
jerked taut, the thief's eyeball popped out. Hit me right in the forehead."
She felt her forehead as if remembering it hitting her.
"Oh gods!" Ida and Hadley
cried out together.
"It wasn't too bad." Natalie
kicked her feet leisurely. "I made it into a nice stew."
"You're lying!" Hadley
said.
Natalie smirked.
"I knew it! I knew you were
lying!" Hadley shouted. "You poser! You fib!"
"Oh, come on, you guys. Did you
honestly think I'd come to watch somebody being murdered? You obviously don't
know me very well. I detest all of that blood and guts stuff. A little blood
and I'm nearly as bad as Ida."
"Hey!" Ida elbowed
Natalie. "And we know you well enough never to guess what you'll do
next!"
"Honestly, Nat!" Hadley held
her heart. "You scared the crap out of me. Eyeball popping out! How do you
think of those things?"
"I was going to go with his
entire head being ripped off, but I didn't think you'd buy it."
Hadley fanned her face. "So
help me, if you make me faint!"
Natalie pretended her eyeballs
popped out and was blindly searching for them.
"Stop it!" But Hadley was laughing.
"By the gods, you should have been a boy."
"That's what I've been telling
you." Natalie glanced about the park. "It'd certainly make things a
lot easier."
For many moments, they sat on top of
the wall, listening to the minstrels' music, tapping their fingers against the
cold stone.
Natalie thrust a finger toward the
stage. "Look!"
"What?" they asked,
straining to see.
"There's Randell and his
men."
"Where?"
"Right there, by the front left
corner. See them? He has a dark green cloak. The one with red hair!"
Hadley and Ida squinted.
"That's him?" Ida asked
doubtfully. "He looks older than I would've thought."
"Who's he talking told?"
Hadley asked.
"I"—Natalie struggled to
see—"I think it's Lord Arnold."
"The fat lout," Ida
muttered. "Have you seen that man eat? He eats like a pig!"
"All men do." Natalie
searched the murmuring crowd for anybody else remotely famous. "There's Sir
Percival! I bet you anything he's going to join the quest this time. I hear
he's been training up in Hillshire."
Hadley shook Natalie's arm.
"Who's that?" She pointed to a solitary figure standing by the east wall
far from the stage.
"That's Brago!"
"Geez!" Ida said. "All
the King's adventurers are here!"
"They should be." Natalie scanned
the faces she could see. "Evidently, King Lionel proposed this
quest."
Hadley attempted to dust off the
bird pooh she accidently put her hand in. "So?"
"Lionel always picks easy
adventures."
"King Lionel is an idiot,"
Ida said. "Good looking, but an idiot."
A group of men passed by, glancing
up at them. One of them mentioned something about "stupid girls."
Natalie shouted back, "That's
right! We climbed up here all by ourselves without a prick between us!"
Unnerved, the men hurried away; but
Hadley and Ida went ridge, eyes wide, mouths open.
"Nat!" Hadley whispered.
Natalie shrugged. "What? Do you
ever hear how men talk? They say far worse, believe me."
"I know, but . . . honestly,
aren't you worried what people will think? How're you ever going to attract a boy
with that mouth?"
"Anybody who really loves me
will love my mouth too. I'm not going to change just to please somebody."
Hanley shook her head. "There
you go about love again. You know, you can be quite content marrying somebody
you can tolerate. Look at my mother!"
"I don't want to look at your
mother. And I don't want to be content."
"What do you want, Nat?"
Ida asked.
Hadley grabbed Natalie and pointed
at the nearby gate. "Nat!"
In the middle of a mass of people entering
the village green strolled the hulking figure of Sir Edris, crimson cloak
floating behind him in the wake of his long strides.
"Edris!" Nat yelled.
Mortified, Hadley and Ida tried to
cover her mouth as the knight turned.
"A silver piece says Randell
wins this one!"
Sir Edris saluted Natalie.
"I'll take that bet, young man!"
Surrounded by his well-wishers, the
knight wove his way closer to the stage.
"Nat!" Hanley exclaimed.
"He spoke to you! Sir Edris actually spoke to you!"
"I can't believe it!" Ida
said. "Never in my life would I have thought he would've stopped to talk
to me. Never!"
Natalie huffed, arms folded in front
of her. "He thought I was a boy."
"What do you expect? Like we
said, stop wearing boys' clothes and talking like a boy, and people might
actually see you as a woman."
"Even you have to admit,
Nat," Ida said, "Sir Edris is gorgeous! I mean, look at him!"
Natalie blushed. The others noticed
immediately.
"See!" Hadley cried.
"See! You think he's attractive! Don't deny it."
"I won't deny it." Then
Natalie added, "But there's more than just broad shoulders and nice
hair."
Ida snickered. "Are you going
to talk about pricks again?"
"What? No! I just mean, it
isn't about looks or how much money a man has that matters. It's what he
dreams."
"Dreams?" they both repeated,
doubtfully.
"What the hell does that
mean?"
"Oh, never mind." Natalie
started scanning the crowd to find any other adventurers.
"No you don't, Nat!"
Hadley said. "For once in your life, you're going to open up and tell us
what you're really thinking. Now finish what you were saying. And don't make
anything up. What does a man's dreams have to do with anything about how good a
husband he'll be?"
Nat thought for a moment. They
leaned closer.
"I want somebody," she
said, trying to find the right words. "I want somebody who wants
something, something that he's willing to work hard for. Something he'd
dedicate his life trying to get. You know?"
"What? You mean like a nice
house or something?"
"No! Not a thing 'thing'."
She shook her head. "I don't know. I want a man with some sort of—"
Horns blared from the stage in the center
of the park.
"Shut up!" Natalie said,
relieved. "It's starting!"
Ida groaned. "Right when you
were about to say something interesting."
"I don't know why you even care
about these silly games." Hadley smoothed out her skirt. "Look
around. We're the only women here!"
"There are a couple standing
over there." Ida pointed out three women standing by the east gates.
"Their harlots!"
"Shhh!" Natalie said.
"Here it comes!"
A herald strolled to the middle of
the stage. The din bubbling throughout the crowd diminished somewhat.
"In the days of old . . ."
the herald called out, his voice high and clear in the cool air.
"I wonder how he projects his
voice like that," Ida said. "I wish I could—"
Natalie hushed her.
". . . there was one hero who
repeated faced danger at behest of his King . . ."
"I bet you it's Ivan the
Bald," Natalie said, excitedly.
Now she was hushed, though more out
of retaliation than actual interest.
". . . one hero who was so
revered by kings and commoners alike, that he was known as the Minstrel of the
Gods!"
"He's talking about Balen!"
Natalie told them.
". . . I am talking about Balen
the Bard!"
At once, the crowd erupted in conversation.
"Now," the herald cried
louder, his voice booming above the tumult, "we've all heard of the
Minstrel's many exploits. However, there was one tale that is particularly
important." He paused, letting the tension percolate. "The tale of Balen
and the Monster of Black Wood!"
Another murmur swept about the
commons. The tale of how the minstrel killed the ogre of Langston Forest was a
favorite fireside story of the region. At no other time in history had an ogre
ever been killed by a lute.
"If you recall," the herald
continued, "three centuries ago, the Minstrel was rewarded by King Harold
The Elder of Ettenburgh with a harp of gold and sapphire."
The murmur grew louder, the
anticipation of what was to come building.
"You may also recall that said
harp was lost shortly after the Minstrel's tragic death."
"How did Balen die?" Ida
asked.
"Nobody knows," Natalie
replied sharply. "Now be quiet."
"By royal decree," the
herald announced, "His Majesty, King Michael the Magnificent, will bestow
upon any person, or persons, who brings Balen's golden harp to His Highness . .
. " Another pause. "Four-thousand Culvarian gold coins!"
There was a collective intake of
breath.
"Four . . . thousand . . .
gold," Natalie, Hadley, and Ida all repeated together.
"Gods!" Natalie exclaimed.
"I wonder how much the other kings are offering for it!"
Now everybody in the commons was
talking. Attempting to be heard over the clamor, the herald shouted, "And
be it known, anyone aiding or otherwise assisting adventurers from other realms,
or turning over Balen's harp to other kings, will be dealt with in the harshest
manner possible." He nodded to the minstrels standing behind him. "Good
luck to all of you who dare its undertaking! Let the quest begin!"
The minstrels resumed playing as the
dwarf cart-wheeled across the stage, ribbons in hand; however, groups of men were
leaving the commons, headed this way and that, talking eagerly to one another. From
atop the wall, Natalie, Hadley, and Ida watched them go.
"Four-thousand gold," Ida said
again. "Well, that's something to dream about, now isn't it?"
Hadley stared at Natalie.
"What?" Natalie jumped to
the ground and helped her friends down.
"You're going to go after that
harp, aren't you?"
"Me?" Natalie laughed.
"Don't be stupid. One, I'm a girl; although others may doubt that. And
two, adventuring is a complete waste of effort. Think about it! Think about all
the money Sir Edris and Brago and Randell and his men spend running here and
there trying to obtain whatever the kings fancy. Think about how much gold they
spend on supplies alone. They'd be better off saving their money and buying a
business or something. That's where the real money is."
"Where?"
"A business! Some place where
you can make your own rules and run things the way you see fit."
"You're dreaming again."
"Better than begin stuck in
this place." Natalie picked the dirt from underneath her fingernails.
"So where you two off to?"
"Oh, I don't know." Hadley
watched the men file out of the village green. "Maybe I'll go to the
markets or something."
"Want to go walking in the
hills?" Ida asked. "It's such a beautiful day!"
"It is that, isn't it?"
Hadley examined the blue sky. "Alright. Let's go along the Lesser Green
and up into the pine trees. You coming, Nat?"
Natalie gestured dramatically to her
stained and soiled overalls. "I have to work, remember?"
Hadley grimaced. "Sorry."
"Why?" Natalie tried to
hide her irritation. "I enjoy working. Everybody should work!"
The others didn't say anything,
knowing exactly what would happen if they disagreed.
More people streamed past, talking
about what they'd do with four thousand gold coins.
The girls stood staring uneasily at
each other.
"Well," Natalie said,
eventually. She jabbed a thumb toward the west gates. "I've gotta get to
Henry's. I have a lot to do this afternoon. But maybe we can get together
later?"
The others agreed eagerly.
"Of course!" Hadley hugged
Natalie. "Maybe we can go on a picnic!"
Natalie hugged Ida. "That's
fine, if you don't mind eating under the stars. Thanks to all these
adventurers, Henry's stables are full, which means I won't be done at the
livery until late evening." She
noticed their reactions. "Oh, don't look like that. I don't mind. I really
do enjoy working. I mean, I'm around horses all day! What's not to like?"
She laughed, though it sounded strained. "Plus more work means more money!"
"I'll tell you what?"
Hadley said. "Tomorrow night, let's go to a nice tavern. I pay."
Natalie protested.
"None of that, Nat! I just got
my allowance and it's either getting drunk or buying a new dress. I'll let you
choose how I spend it."
Natalie laughed again, this time
more sincerely. "Alright. We'll see. But I do have to get going." She
hugged them both a second time. "Thanks for caring."
"Hell," Ida said, "somebody
has to look after you."
