A couple of you asked me to talk about how my story,
Riddle in Stone, changed from the point of conception to the point of
publication.
This is a long story, so bear with me. But it also has an important morale that I think
new writers need to understand.
You see, I’ve always wanted to be a writer, as I
have often said. So one day, about six years ago, I decided that I was going to
write AND FINISH my first novel-length manuscript. After the better part of a year, I finished
it. YIPPIEE!
I sent query letters to a bunch of agents and got a
lot of requests to see it. But nobody
wanted to represent the manuscript.
A few agents gave me suggestions as to how to make
the story better, but I was very resistant to change anything. The story, after all, was finished and revising
it would mean making substantial changes to the characters and places—which were
firmly fixed in my mind. I loved the
main characters and I could literally close my eyes and SEE the settings in
which the story took place. So I didn’t
make the changes and the manuscript never saw life in publication.
At this point, I started to see the need to STUDY
THE CRAFT of writing. I read all the
books I could get my hands on about how to write and learned a tremendous
amount (I still am).
One of the issues that I soon saw with my writing
was that my dialogue all sounded like me.
According to the books I had read, the style of dialogue should be so
different that you should be able to tell who is speaking without being
told. My dialogue wasn’t like
that. All my characters sounded the
same.
So I began a story at TORC (www.theonering.com) about a guy named
Edmund who literally just started walking down the road away from his
home. Every day, I spent 10-15 minutes
writing a quick scene where Edmund spoke to people. My goal was to develop a certain speaking
style for him and the various characters he met.
I should point out that Edmund stutters partly to
make his speech different than other characters, but also because my son, Alex,
stuttered and I wanted to have a hero for him to read about who spoke just like
him.
Anyway, I kept writing these little episodes…and
slowly a story formed. It was about
this loser guy who liked this beautiful woman and how he wanted to become
famous to win her heart.
In the first versions, which was called “All Mortals
Die,” Edmund died at the end. But that
was really unrewarding. The story just
ended. So I had to completely rework the
conclusion.
In the next versions (now entitled “The Riddle of
Iliandor”), a different ending occurred (the ending that it has now, so I won’t
spoil it for you). However, a publisher
who wanted to read the manuscript told me that Edmund was kind of a stuck-up
jackass. He knew more than everybody and
often showed it. He also was kind of
sneaky and mean.
For example, in this version, Edmund sent a band of
young adventurers on a wild goose chase through a great swamp that Edmund told
them was merely a “brief wetland.” It
was a good scene and very funny. I also
loved the three young adventurers because they were so full of energy and
gusto. But in the next version of the
story, the one where I wanted Edmund to be nicer, that scene had to be cut out
and, consequently, those three characters disappeared. Hopefully I can bring them back some day. I think you’ll really like them.
So then I made Edmund kinder and more sympathetic. He was still smart, but he was shyer and less
prone to humiliate people. He was pretty much as he is now.
I sent this version of the manuscript around and another
editor said that the engine of the story, the element that starts the
storyline, wasn’t compelling enough. In
the previous versions, I had Edmund drinking too much and leaving home to win
the heart of his one true love. The
editor didn’t like this. She said it was trite and flat.
In these versions, there was a terrific scene where
Edmund wakes up the next afternoon in the middle of the road, miles from town,
hung over and vomiting. But,
unfortunately, this scene had to go as well if I wanted to give Edmund a new
reason for leaving home.
I redid the first three chapters and toned down his
love for the woman. In this new version,
he still loved her, but he doesn’t think that she’ll ever love him. Also, he leaves town not to win her heart,
but to find some sense of purpose. He
was bored with his life and wanted a change.
The second editor asked to see the manuscript again
and read this new version with the likable Edmund who is trying to “find
himself.” She enjoyed it, but not enough
to buy it. She felt that the action didn’t
start quickly enough. She told me that
Edmund has to get in “serious trouble” by page 50.
This meant that I had to delete two entire chapters
and eliminate five characters and their subplots, which really weakened the
ending since those characters played a big part in the revised conclusion. I also had to take all of the backstory
learned about Edmund in those two chapters and sprinkle them elsewhere. This meant that I had to do significant
revisions to beginning again.
So I now had a nicer Edmund, who loved the beautiful
woman (but wasn’t obsessing over her every other page), was trying to find
himself, but also ran into serious issues by page 50. I should mention that in all of these
versions, Edmund is middle aged.
My agent loved this new version and started shopping
it around to more publishers. But nobody
was biting.
Then somebody suggested that I make Edmund younger.
So I went through the entire manuscript and made him a teenager.
I didn’t like this change. I felt that part of Edmund’s charm was that
he had “wasted” so much of his life and he wanted to regain his youth. So I changed the story back to having him be
middle aged.
Also, I changed the title from “The Riddle of
Iliandor” (Iliandor was too hard to say and it meant nothing to anybody who
didn’t read it), to “Riddle in Stone.” I thought that this title was more
mysterious. Also, the “stone” could have
different meanings…literally a riddle carved “into stone” and a riddle of “permanence”—both
of which apply to the story.
So my agent now pitched “Riddle in Stone.” Edmund was nicer. He wanted this woman, but
not too much. And he was out adventuring
for himself, not to win anybody. Plus
the action came faster.
The first publisher who looked at it (Diversion
Books) took it and published as is.
The morale of the story….
I think we (writers) tend to get to know our characters
so well that they become more or less real to us. We then become reluctant to make any
substantial changes to our manuscripts, especially changes that will completely
alter our original understanding of the characters and our story.
But we have to make changes. Writing has to be fluid. It has to bend and twist and mold itself into
the shape that will maximize its impact.
Some characters—wonderful, lively characters—have to be cut out of the
picture. And some scenes have to
disappear. It sucks. But that’s how it is.
STORIES LIVE AND BREATHE…AND CHANGE AS THEY ARE
WRITTEN.
I don’t know how many times fellow writers have told
me, “Well, I like it! And if the
publishers don’t, they’re crazy!!” Or, “I’m
not going to tailor my work to the tastes of the ignorant masses!”
It’s a shame.
These writers are stifling their literary growth by being enslaved to
their initial vision of their characters and story. They’re unwilling to see how changes can
improve their manuscripts. As a result,
their work will probably never become exceptional or get published.
